:BRIGHTSTUFF:..Personal & Political Musings & Rants by a Liberal Leftist Black & Asian Teacher

Well, we had a wonderful weekend at the Shore with some of the Old Man's married friends.

On the first night, I had my leg eaten up by mosquitoes so badly that I now look like an absolute junky. I've got nasty red welts all over my leg that itch like all hell, and of course, it makes me one cranky old lady.

Look. Here's one of the little buggers getting ready to suck on my juicy leg right now.

I'm not sure what it is about my blood that attracts the little parasites. I must be too damned sweet for my own good because the bastards went to town on my leg like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. There are now probably 12 or 13 obese mosquitoes flying around the Jersey Shore as I write this.

I also got sunburned (yeah, I actually CAN get burned!), but definitely not as bad as the poor Old Man who's poor pink back is slathered with Noxema. Thank the Lord for my melanin!


We went to a strip club (after imbibing quite a bit of wine and beer) and it was depressing as hell. First of all, let me just say that we were in a pretty affluent beach town, so we didn't expect much from the place. We just decided that we'd go in for a few giggles.

When we walked in, the first thing I thought was "Oh. This is a sports bar, right?" The place was filled with young college-aged kids who looked like they just got back from a Dave Matthews concert. You know, baseball caps, khaki shorts and golf shirts.

All of the strippers looked bored to tears. I have never in my life ever seen such bored strippers. I've been to a few strip clubs in my life (the first one was with a bunch of my lesbian friends. We ended up getting the most attention out of everyone in the club!) and these strippers were dancing as if they DIDN'T want tips!

Anyway, when they did want tips, they'd amble up to the punters and shake their ass for about twenty seconds and then do that money collecting thing by pushing their boobs together.

The best stripper there was this 6'2 gothed out one who danced to Sting and Pink Floyd. Weird. I guess I felt some sympathy for her being a former goth myself, because I actually thought she was a good dancer. She had tremendously huge fake boobs which didn't interfere with the admirable job she did swinging around that pole by her legs. I was pretty impressed, so I smiled. When it came to be her turn to collect tips, she came over to me and told me that she noticed my "beautiful smile" while she was dancing. I gave her a dollar. Yup- she collected with her boobs. A few minutes later, the stripper who came after the goth one came up to me with a pleading look in her eyes and boobs ready to collect. It was time to go. I was NOT going to be the girl target tonight.

Nevertheless, the experience was un-exciting.