Okay- so here I am on day four doing...okay.

Yesterday was quite an ordeal for me.

A lot of folks have been reminding me to think on the positive.

It's just not that easy when one has developed a very real, very physical addiction and habit to a known drug. If you have been smoking for as long (or longer than) I have, you realize that smoking inundates every part of you on every level. You understand that it's not just a matter of putting the damn thing down and being done with it.

Your body craves it, but hates it, and you can almost feel it in every pore of your body.

Sometimes, you even can smell it and feel like you're getting a contact high from it.

Then there's the habit.

Imagine this- the average one-pack-a-day smoker puts a cigarette to his/her lips about 200 times a day.

For me, that's 200 times a day for almost 17 years.

You do it so much that it becomes almost a ritual, much like a obsessive-compulsive disorder.  It is certainly a habit- a bad one at that. After all, am I NOT obsessed with smoking? Do I NOT feel compelled to smoke?