Last week, Amy and I went to the Whole Foods Market after breakfast with Mo, Ross, and my Old Man.

Old Man decided not to accompany us for shopping after seeing the nightmarish line and hightailed it back home.

As we waited on the massive line, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see a gigantic man leaning over toward me and grinning like he was a cat that just swallowed a goldfish.

"Hey!"

He looked ridiculously familiar to me- like he COULD conceivably be a cousin or an old friend or an acquaintance- something. In fact, for a split second, I even thought he was my cousin, Ja.

As I shook his hand,  it dawned on me that I had no idea who the hell he was.

Freak: "How are you?"

Me (feeling kind of weird now): "Uh...I don't know you...I thought you were someone else..."

(I see Amy kind of smirking in the background)

Freak: (speaking low)"You look like an interflectual"

Me: "Excuse me.....???????"

Freak: "You look like an intellectual."

Me: " Okay...Uh...right...okay..." (pushing my basket and not looking at the freak)

Freak: "Can I talk to you some time?"
Me: (holding up my left hand) "Uh...I'm married..."

I turn around to keep going up the line and the next thing I know, he's pulled out a card and is handing it to me.

Freak: "If you ever want to call..."

Me: "I'M MARRIED!"

Besides being skeeved out for hours after about the exchange, I pretty much let it go and forget about it.

Until...

Fast forward to Friday.

I'm on my way to work at about 6:30 am (you know how lazy us teachers are), walking through the subway tunnel that connects 6th avenue to 7th avenue.

My cd player just died on the way there but I still kept the headphones in my ears.

I don't know about anyone else, but just having the headphones in my ear with nothing turned on sometimes works to efficiently block out the world that I don't want to acknowledge at 6:30 am in the morning.

So there I am, world almost perfectly muffled out, trudging on my way to another day of civil slavery in the NY public school system when what to my wondering eyes should appear....?

A big, lumbering doofus who looks strangely like that freak that called me an "INTERFLECTUAL" last week.

Freak (grinning like he was my best friend. He steps directly in front of me): "HEEEEYYYYY!!!!!!!!!"

Although I am freaked out as all hell, I don't bat an eye.

I move out of his way and just keep walking like I didn't hear or see him.

ICK.

He probably originally recognized me because he probably sees me on my way to work EVERY DAY.

This only tells me that I'm probably going to see much, much more of him.

UGH.

My Old Man thinks I should invest in some Krav Maga classes since, after all, it's been about 4 years since I've been to kung fu and my tiger crane reflexes are a bit rusty.

You never know when you might have to bust some skeevy man in the face at 6:30 in the morning on the way to work...